January 26th

so Its been a while. I have been watching what I eat and I have started a new program called crunch less abs...which by the way kicks your butt!!! anyway. I feel I need to do more, I really want to start jogging or go back to the gym. I really can't go back to the gym until Jason has a home job. I feel like I burden my parents to much in watching my daughter. I take some classes and they thankfully watch her so I try not to make them do it any more then they have to. :)

I will say I slipped and ate some really good brownies over the weekend. and when Jason was here we went to dinner and I totally pigged out on pasta. but for the most part I have tried to stay good. I haven't checked the scale. I will do that tomorrow and report on what that nasty little beast says. I know don't kill the messenger....still.

Not so good

Got on the scale this morning and I was up a pound. I had cake this weekend and taco bell yesterday. I didn't eat a lot of those things but they make a difference....which really sucks. I hate it.

I hate how all I do is look at something even remotely yummy and I can feel my butt getting bigger. whatever!!!! I'm so tired of being fat!

My parents have a boflex and I will start using that. Hopefully that will get me going. I also might go on this cookie diet ( I know it sounds crazy - I'll post the website later) with my girlfriend from work. Her sister did it and lost 37 pounds in two months. (not the healthiest weight loss, but I don't care...I'm done!).

January 9th

I had a chance to go to Taco Bell today and instead got a turkey wrap and broccoli salad. Its feels nice to make better choices. Last night my brother and sister got a pizza, I had already eaten my salad and one of my new rules is I cant eat after 8pm to give my body a chance to burn off some of what I put in there before I go into the hibernation (sleep) and my body shuts down. So, not only did I not eat the pizza I kept my rule and didn't snack after 8.

I was a little bummed this morning when I got on the scale and I was up a pound. Course I have been taking up exercising...including weight training. This of course adds muscle and retains water. It will go back down I know but I am one of those people if I don't see results right away I won't do it anymore. But knowing that I have gone down before and can go down again and more gives me the strength and will not to blow it.

it is Friday so we will see how I will do over the weekend. Hopefully I will be down...either way I am glad I can make the better food choices! :)

January 5th

Its monday and I stayed home with my sick daughter. I usually do worse when I am not on a schedule and have the potential to veg in front of the tube. But since I know what I could feel like and have felt like when I am not this heavy...that is what I will remember when I get into that zone.

I said I would weigh in today and I have...down to 205.00. Its still a discusting number but at least its getting smaller. :)

January 2nd

Well its the second day of the new year and I do have to say I was more aware of what I ate. I'm not going to lie and say I ate nothing but rice cakes and blueberry's....cause that didn't happen. I did however watch my portions. We went to the movies and I got the kids sized popcorn instead of the mega heart stopper, Jason (my husband) took me to dinner at a sandwich shop and I got a salad instead.

I think the key is to know you aren't going to be able completely change everything you eat and stick to it. Baby steps and mine is starting with smaller portions and being aware of what I am actually putting in my gut.

so far so good. I will weigh in again on Monday. See where I am then.